Romantic partners tend the be some of the most powerful teachers and bring us important lessons that need to be learned in our human experience. There really is no energy stronger than the energy of romantic love….
It’s not always easy to think of enjoying your life when you’re struggling to get through another day sober, but you should. Finding moments of peace and happiness is a crucial step in the process of personal reinvention, and now’s the time to take it, with summer bringing plenty of warm weather and clear skies to lift your spirits.
Addiction is an equal opportunity destroyer of lives. Park Avenue or park bench, silk sheets or city streets, gay or straight, liberal, conservative or just don’t care politically, addiction touches everyone. According to the latest statistics from the National Institute on Drug Abuse: 64 Billion is spent per year for addiction health care with another 520 Billion a year lost to addiction related crime, missed work and productivity. What isn’t included in those numbers is the pain and suffering the 10’s of thousands of families who lost someone to addiction felt.
It is undeniable that 2018 is going to be a year that brings a lot of change, hopefully for the better. It will be full of difficult conversations, hard truths, and unlikely heroes finally finding their voices. This is our year. The year for women to speak up, rise and finally fight for equality. However, the year of women- starts with men. It starts with creating the space for men to accept their vulnerability, understand and own their feelings and value relationships more.
As technology has changed how we meet, communicate and date- long distance relationships have become a norm in our culture. Yet, there really hasn't been much discussion about how to navigate these types of relationships and the struggles that come up for couples who are trying to "go the distance."
Projection is a powerful thing. Probably one of the most powerful psychological and emotional qualities that sets humans apart from other animals. We project our thoughts onto paper and create stories, songs, and poetry. We project our ideas and create incredible inventions and we project our hearts deepest wishes, desires, pain onto others and relationships, all without even consciously realizing it.
Vulnerability means showing up and allowing yourself to be seen, speaking your truth and putting yourself at risk for rejection. It's saying "I love you" and not knowing how the other person feels. It's hearing that you have cancer. It's walking into an interview for your dream job. It's becoming a parent for the first time. It's facing someone that you have hurt. It's admitting that you struggle with an addiction or that your relationship isn't working anymore.
If we are told that we are being "selfish" there is an automatic feeling that what we are doing something shameful.
Our society sends us contradictory messages- we live in a individualistic culture that sets us up to fend for ourselves. While also judging us harshly, when we make decisions that benefit us or put our needs first.
Commitment phobia stems from unresolved childhood trauma and is an unconscious re-enactment of their internal conflict. Part of the psyche yearns for closeness, companionship, and love, while the other part is terrified of the responsibilities that come with a relationship. Being in a relationship with a commitment phobic is extremely emotionally draining and creates a confusing "push and pull" for anyone involved with them.