Vulnerability means showing up and allowing yourself to be seen, speaking your truth and putting yourself at risk for rejection. It's saying "I love you" and not knowing how the other person feels. It's hearing that you have cancer. It's walking into an interview for your dream job. It's becoming a parent for the first time. It's facing someone that you have hurt. It's admitting that you struggle with an addiction or that your relationship isn't working anymore.
If we are told that we are being "selfish" there is an automatic feeling that what we are doing something shameful.
Our society sends us contradictory messages- we live in a individualistic culture that sets us up to fend for ourselves. While also judging us harshly, when we make decisions that benefit us or put our needs first.
Narcissist's lack a coherent sense of self so they use environmental stimuli to feel worthy and powerful. They may seek out travel, expensive clothing, powerful jobs or beautiful partners to project to the world that they are worthy. Using life experiences, things and interesting stories about their lives to feel worthy and lovable.
Going through the stages of grief can be one of the most mentally, spiritually and physically draining emotional experiences we go through as humans. The loss of a person, relationship or a significant aspect of your life can trigger feelings that are so powerful and overwhelming, you may not know how to cope with them.
Commitment phobia stems from unresolved childhood trauma and is an unconscious re-enactment of their internal conflict. Part of the psyche yearns for closeness, companionship, and love, while the other part is terrified of the responsibilities that come with a relationship. Being in a relationship with a commitment phobic is extremely emotionally draining and creates a confusing "push and pull" for anyone involved with them.
In today's world is go-go-go, Monday-Friday goes by in the blink of an eye and suddenly it's the weekend.
How exhausting is that?! At times, it can feel empty living this way, lost in the hustle of high expectations, to-do lists, and responsibilities. Stress levels can build up and cause emotional and physical responses such as anxiety, depression, and sleep problems.
The craze and controversy surrounding Netflix's new original series 13-Reasons Why has been trending on social media, with teens, concerned parents, and professionals. After hearing so much about this show and it's portrayal of suicide due to bullying in high school- I had to watch it.
As a therapist, and also someone who has indirect exposure to this industry and "startup life" it has been fascinating, beautiful and terrifying all at the same time, to see the impact of tech unfold.
I have witnessed incredible innovation, forward thinking and action oriented positive change. While at the same time, seeing glimpses of another side, that might not be as wonderful and glamours on the inside. These high stakes positions often require endless hours of coding, stress and high-pressure situations that impact the well-being, family, friends and mental health of these forward thinkers.
Most of us know someone directly or indirectly has been affected by substance abuse or addiction problems. Understanding why someone abuses substances or becomes addicted is very complicated because unlike depression or anxiety there is a belief that there is a choice, a choice not to use and to begin using in the first place.
Life is beautiful, there is so much to celebrate, be grateful for and share with others.
Yet, life is life.
There are always going to be inevitable moments of pain and unimaginable suffering, for all of us. It's the beauty of the highest of the highs and the lessons hidden in the lowest of the lows which give us meaning and slowly shape us into the people we are supposed to become.